The Mission: It's Impact on Me

 The boys in my class. Picture Credit to Karla Toomer.

 In the LDS General Conference in October 2012, President Monson announced that Young Men can serve missions at age 18, and Young Women can go and serve at age 19. My first response when I heard this was, "I don't have to go... I don't have to go." I have always kind of struggled with separating suggestions and expectations. When my coaches or teachers told me it would be cool if I did something, I thought that it was kind of a command. It was a suggestion that I turned into an expectation. So, when a good suggestion comes up, it's hard to separate it from expectations.
  I can't count how many times during senior year that I was asked if I was going to serve a mission. I always answered, no. I was not going. I hadn't asked the Lord though. I had made up my own mind and I wasn't going to ask, because I was afraid what the answer would be. During the summer all the boys in my class got mission calls and left and I came to BYU and everyone was wondering if I was going on a mission. I was still answering no. Then it was time for October Conference 2013. I was praying that it wouldn't become a duty for women to serve, like I feel it is for men. I'm terrible. Anyways, the week or two leading up to conference I kept feeling like I needed to ask and maybe go. I didn't want to ask. I wasn't going to ask. I watched conference and there were a lot of talks about missionary work. I was confused. I asked my dad for a blessing to help with clarification. When I got back to school I set up an appointment with my Bishop just for some advice. He asked me if I had prayed about it. I told him I was too nervous. He told me to read the scriptures and pray and then talk to him later. So I started looking up talks and scriptures about missionary work and women serving missions and I finally asked Heavenly Father if I should serve a mission. I asked every day and I couldn't hear an answer. So I cried to Olivia and told her that I thought I must be losing my spirituality because I couldn't feel an answer to my prayers one way or another. She told me that sometimes Heavenly Father doesn't answer our prayers; He lets us decide. I was frustrated and said, Yeah, but it's too big of a decision. He needs to tell me. I was expecting Him to tell me yes or no. I didn't get that though. Then I read the talk that validated Olivia's statement. Heavenly Father sometimes trusts us to make our own decisions. So, I decided that I was going to stay home. I prayed and told Heavenly Father my decision and asked if it was the right one? I didn't get a yes or no. But I didn't feel sick about my decision. So, as of right now in my life, I am choosing to not serve a mission. But the mission has impacted my life. 

I graduated with 16 kids. Of those 16, by the middle of July, 10 will be on missions. Those 10 kids are the best examples to me. Because they are choosing to serve the Lord as a full time missionary, it makes me want to do my part here. I am serving by example and trying to be kind and be a good friend. I am so blessed to have grown up where I did with the people I did. They taught me how to be a strong example and they helped strengthen my testimony. 

My buddy Colt! My favorite memory of Colt is just that we would always call him Babe and he'd get a little embarrassed. But isn't he a BABE! 

This picture is one of my favorites of Brendon. When we were in Mexico he forgot to bring church pants and shoes. So he went in shorts and sandals! It was awesome! He could have chosen to stay at the resort because of this strange attire, but his testimony is stronger than that.

Carolyn is so cute. My favorite memories of Carolyn are basketball trips. She was the best manager ever! She really cared about how our team did and she was always on top of things! Plus she's funny on the bus sometimes! 

This is what Justene and Dylan and I will look like when we get together for friend reunions in the future. Justene and I have been friends since we were kids and I remember one day I was supposed to go and play at her house, but her mom called and said I couldn't because Justene had cut her own hair and was grounded. She's awesome.

My favorite memory with Nathan is just stuff he would do. He was always willing to open the door and wait for people. It was really nice.

Tom Dog is a stud! He took me to Homecoming our Senior year and it was so much fun! We lost our volleyball game and I thought that my life was crap. It's hard to go to a dance and have fun after something like that. When Tom came to get me, the first thing he did was tell a joke. I laughed and we had a good time. He told me later that his goal was to get me to laugh and have fun even though we lost. He cares so much about everyone!

I couldn't just choose one of Tyrel. He has been my friend since we were little kids. We did joy school together with Blues Clues books and sometimes we would walk to and from school together and sing songs about stop signs. He always makes me laugh and he's just the best kid for keeping everyone positive.

Colter and I decided this was our favorite picture. Isn't it adorable. He's so tall! Anyways, my favorite memory with Colter is lots of memories. We went salsa dancing in Mexico and we were not very good, but it was fun. And we went to a corn maze one time and it was a blast! There was a midget chasing us and I was like, look it's my friend! And then I thought the midget was gone, but Colter said, turn around. The midget was like right behind me and I freaked out! We ran so fast! Colter's always nice and he's a good kid.

The picture describes our friendship. We love doing dorky stuff together and I can talk to Ana for hours and never run out of stuff to talk about. One of my favorite memories with Ana was when we made super hero capes and tried to fly and we once put a light in the center of our chests and pretended to be Iron Man! She's going on her mission this summer! 

Brigham is my best friend and my hero and he has huge muscles. Since we were little we played together. One thing we like to reminisce about is how we watched almost every Magic School Bus episode EVER! And we played surf-boards one day on the ironing board and bread board! And every time I went to their house we played run-away orphans or Cowboys and Indians or Annie-I-Over. In high school we did a lot of things together. He made me feel cool because he was like the coolest kid in the school and he wasn't too cool to talk to me. We played hard whenever we were together! And we share a love for Oreo anything! He's the best! 

  The kids in my class are amazing kids. I don't know where there are 10 better people. Sometimes I look at 18 and 19 year old kids, myself included, and think, "The spreading of the Gospel is being left in our hands?" and I get little bit nervous. But, I know that these friends of mine are ready and mature enough to be serving missions and I'm so blessed to know them. 

  I know that the Church is trued and that full time missionaries are spreading the gospel and teaching with the Spirit. I also know that we need to be missionaries by the things we do and say each day. We don't know who will see us here and want to be like us. I need to spread the gospel here by being a good person, following the prophets, keeping the commandments, being nice and smiling. I know that the blessings of happiness that come from the church are real and I want everyone to have them. Heavenly Father loves all of His children and wants them all to have a chance to return to Him. Let's do our part to give everyone a chance to hear the message.