Christmas this year was spectacular! I had so much fun with my family and I love all the gifts that I received! I got a coat and ski googles! I got cute clothes and candy! I got to talk to my cousin Brigham who's serving in Tucson and my friend Tyrel in Peru. I spent all day with family and I loved it! But the story I want to tell happened on Christmas Eve. We had just gotten home from our loud and loving Christmas Eve party at Grandma Teichert's. Taffy and Tony and their kids and Tami and Casey and their kids and Sulli and Michelle and Kinley were at the house with us and we were having a loud time! It was a fun family atmosphere that I love! And in the midst of the excitement we got a knock on the door. Connor went to the door fairly quickly. When he opened the door, there was nobody there. Instead there was a jar on the porch that said, "Tessa's Christmas Jar."
No name, no trace of anybody. My nephew Tel shouted out the door, "Thank you Christmas Angels!" and we laughed because who comes up with that kind of a sentence? Just Tel. Then Connor brought the jar over to me. It was filled with coins and bills. I was puzzled and surprised that someone would leave me a jar of money. Whoever gave me this gift of money was inspired and very thoughtful and sensitive to my needs. Since going to college, I have become a stresser. My biggest stresses are grades and money. I never seem to be satisfied with my grades and I am usually feeling pinched in the money department. I took the jar and went into my room where I opened it and counted what was given to me. And I started to cry. There was over $100 in the jar. I knelt down by my bed and cried and gave thanks to Heavenly Father for the giver(s) of this gift because there wasn't a name on the card. He is so mindful of me. He used other people to help me. Tel has never said such a true statement in all his life. Whoever gifted me the jar, were indeed my Christmas Angels. I was overcome with gratitude. I don't now who all pitched in to help me, but if you read this and you had a part in this gift, please know that I am completely in your debt and I'm extremely grateful.
This Christmas I had to really humble myself. I had to put myself on a Christmas budget. I felt like the little drummer boy, what can I give? I didn't have a lot of money and so I had to do something that I thought I wouldn't do. I shopped at DI for a few gifts and I made a homemade gift for my mom. I felt terrible that I wasn't in a position to give more. I felt a little bit like a cheap skate. I didn't like it. While I was struggling with these feelings, I watched this video:
It teaches that the true meaning of Christmas isn't monetary. It's about Christ. I was filled with the Spirit of Christ while watching this video. I was giving what I could and that was good enough. The important thing that I needed to remember was that Christ came to this earth in the humblest of circumstances. He is the real gift. He's what is really important. Christ should be the center of our lives, now and always. He is the Gift.
This Christmas has been an important and impactful one in my life. I'm grateful for the circumstances surrounding me this Christmas and for all the wonderful people in my life. I'm most grateful for the mindfulness and love of a loving Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ.
I know I never really lost my sister, but facetime is not the same as real time! And today I got to see my sis for reals! She called me earlier this morning and asked me what my day was gonna be like, and I said, Well, I got class at 9 and then work til 5. And then she called Mom and asked if there was any way they could come to Provo and surprise me at work. What she didn't know was that I was already going to surprise her! So I got to the airport (public transportation is actually AWESOME) and waited for Mom. And then when Mom got there she had this great idea. We waited for Livi and when we saw her, I hid behind a wall and Mom went and greeted Livi. Then they went over to Baggage Claim and they had their backs to me and so I snuck up on them and tapped Livi on the shoulder and said, Excuse me. And she turned around and then saw it was me and we froke out! It was so exciting! I'm so happy to have my Sis back and that she's only a text away now! Yay for being best friends with my sister! I love her a kajillion and she was good to Peru and Peru was good to her and now she can come to school with me and we can be good together again!
After 3 months, we're still on the same brain wave. We were shopping at TJ Maxx and we were talking as we were shopping on different isles. We were saying how it's Christmas and we don't really need anything, and then we got to the end of the isle and saw the same sweater and at the same time said, But I do need that! And then we looked at each other and just laughed and hugged and said, well, we still are the same!
And now just some of my favorite pics of me and my sister.
Have you ever looked at yourself and thought something a little less than positive? Have you ever complained about a little body ache or pain? I know I have. I also know that there are people who have a right to complain and might read this blog and think I'm being insensitive or that I don't really know what I'm talking about. That's not my point. The point of this blog is to share my experience of how I feel about bodies and about God who gave them to us.
Think about it. Everyday you get to wake up. Your mind becomes alert; your eyes adjust to the lights and immediately your body is at work. Little muscles are dialating your pupil to let in just enough light and centering it to your fovea capitis where the rods and cones pick up colors and contrasts and then send that image through nerves to your brain and you process what you're seeing: the faces of people you love, the blue sky, the snow falling. And you hear people in the kitchen, or the rain on the window, or the cat meowing at the door. You roll out of bed or jump or climb down from your top bunk. And then you walk into the kitchen and smell bacon cooking on the stove and the chocolate cake on the counter from last night. And these smells send stimulation to your brain and bring back memories of chocolate cake on your 16th birthday when your sister invited all your friends over to surprise you, and you remember eating bacon on late start, the only school night the whole school year when you could have a sleep over. And all of this takes less than a second to pass through your mind. You walk to the table. Muscles in your body respond to what you want them to do without you knowing your communicating to them to put one foot in front of the other so you don't tumble to the ground and break your radius, which is connected to your humerus and your scapula and your spine and surrounded by tons of muscles to give you motion and protection.
You dish up your plate and start eating. The food doesn't just fall right through you and leave you hungry. It gets mashed up by your teeth and ushered to the esophagus by your tongue to the epiglottis which is protecting your air way. Once you're done chewing and swallowing, your body does the rest without you telling it to. It mashes your food further and take out the nutrients and gets rid of waste. The nutrients go into the blood system, which pumps constantly and hard, and spread throughout the body, giving you energy and happiness, because who doesn't like a full stomach? And all of this happens in the first 10 minutes of your day! Just think what more you and your body are going to do during the next 18 hours before you give it a chance to rest and recuperate?
The body is an amazing gift. Studying anatomy has been the biggest blessing of my college experience so far, and that's very unexpected. When I came on a campus visit during senior year I disliked science and my life plan was to come to BYU and learn how to be a good english teacher. I hadn't prayed about either of these decisions, I had just made them myself. While I was on my visit, the tour guide took me by the science building and talked about how at BYU when they study anatomy, they do a lot of secular and spiritual cross over. And for some reason, that's when I really felt the spirit and thought, BYU is a really good place to come to school. But I didn't think much about it after that. I came to BYU to be an english teacher. By Christmas I knew that wasn't really what I wanted to be. So, around February I got up the guts to go talk to an academic guidance counselor. I decided I wanted to work with athletes and exercise and sports and all that jazz. Then, this semester I signed up to take anatomy. One night while I was in the anatomy lab, I was nerding out and just LOVING learning about my body and in that moment I remembered how I felt during the campus visit and my mind was blown away. Heavenly Father knew that I was going to come to BYU and He knew that eventually I would make my way around to studying anatomy and it only took me a year and a half to realize that He was answering my prayers before I even asked them. It was amazing, and I know that I am in the right major and doing what God wants me to do.
And to further my love of the body and it's amazing abilities, and the cross-over with Heavenly Father who knows me better than I know myself, I'd like you to watch a video.
My anatomy TA showed us this video in our last day of lab, which happened to be the day that my newest little nephew, Lewis, was born, and I was overcome with the spirit. What a creation! It's a miracle and there is no explanation except for the divine hand of God for how it can all function, how the body developed and muscles attached in the right places and nerves found their correct paths to complete their individual reactions and the heart pumping blood and nutrients to feed those muscles and nerves. Our bodies are a miracle. Take care of the one God gave you. Eat right (food that's healthy and food that you like) and exercise (park in the back of the lot and walk, or do 5 pushups or go on a run) and sleep (to rejuvenate your muscles and mind). God's given you an awesome gift. It's His best way to show you how much He loves you. Be grateful for it. Love your body and Love God for creating it and giving it to you! What a gift!
Happy Birthday dear Brittanie! My roommate Brittanie Steele just had a birthday yesterday and we had a party!
It was so much fun! My 10 favorite things about Britt:
She is genuine.
She is really close to God.
She shares her laugh easily.
She randomly will tickle my elbow with a silly smile on her face.
She motivates me to get out of bed and go running.
She is prompt.
She talks to me like we're on the same level of intelligence.
She encourages me to keep my commitments and keeps me accountable.
She loves to dance and she's good at it!
She thinks I'm funny.
I love Britt and I'm pretty sure we were destined to be friends because I just get along with her so well and I love being around her.
Happy Birthday Kendahl! Kendahl has a birthday tomorrow! (You see I wrote today so that one or the other wouldn't think that they were less loved because they're both equal favority.) Kendahl's mom and dad came down on Saturday and we celebrated her birthday by going to the Home Free concert. Awesome!
My 10 favorite things about Kendahl:
She gives me good advice.
She's a really good listener.
She loves to play basketball and volleyball.
She always says "I love you" back.
She puts up my flag for me when I forget, and takes it down when I forget.
She reads her scriptures a lot and inspires me to do the same.
She can flip omelets like a pro.
She serves so willingly and knows when I'm feeling stressed and helps me through it.
She makes everyone around her feel good about themselves.
She speaks Spanish and it's cool!
The first time I met Kendahl we were going on a night hike around Halloween time a year ago. She made me feel like her best friend from the very first minute of meeting her. It's easy to be around her, and I'm glad I have her!
I feel like I have been very blessed to come to the family that I have. My Parents are perfect for me. They give me just the right amount of encouragement and the right amount of praise and the right amount of love. Mom and Dad taught me the Gospel and how to treat people right. And they gave me a bunch of siblings to love that love me. All my siblings are perfect for me in a different way. I go to them each for different things. I love to just talk to my brothers and sisters and see how they're doin'. Even though there's a pretty big age spread between me and my oldest sister, I still feel like I have a relationship with all of my siblings. They've done a really good job of putting in effort to get to know me and be involved in my life as I've grown up. And Audrey Hepburn said it... "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." I am grateful I get to hold onto the family that I have forever and throughout eternity.
Okay folks. I am a positive person! I really love my life! And every post I write, I tell how awesome my life is! And I believe it! I have a great life and I love living it! But, I'm real too. Not every single day is all peachy keys and I don't have everything in life figured out. You see, there's not an easy way to express this, but I feel like for my blog readers that might also feel a little in limbo, hearing that they're not the only ones might help. And that's what I want to do with this post. Help people feel good about themselves by giving them something to connect to.
I have goals. I do. My goals are to be a good person. I want to someday be a good wife and a good mother. Those are my main goals. I want to be nice and make a difference in people's lives. Those are good goals. I like those goals. That's what I want to do. But, I am not in complete control of when I'll get married and it's very hard to measure kindness and goodness. My goals don't have a time limit and they don't have a measure. That's something I'm very not used to. In high school I had goals to be in the 10,000 shot club; to win the state championship; to graduate; and to get into BYU. All of those things had dead lines. My goals outside of high school were Get into BYU and then the goals that I already mentioned. So, I am struggling to stay motivated in school. I struggle to find the motivation to want A's. I am settling for B's which was never acceptable to me in high school. I know I could get A's if I would just buckle down and focus and study... instead of blogging :). But my goal is not to be a working woman. I don't want to be a business woman or a career woman very much. So, it's hard to stay super motivated in my school work. But I know I need to be in school and get my degree because it may be the case that I get through school and I won't be married and my goals will still be waiting and I'll be a working woman and so I can't quit and I can't leave. Which leads me to the next thing that makes me really--real...
I am feeling a little restless. I wonder if I should change my major... Am I'm doing something that I really love and being a Exercise and Wellness major for right reasons? I was so sure when I picked this major last year, but now I'm restless. I question myself. And along with being restless comes some rash thinking... like I should cut my hair off, or dye it. Just some kind of change! Or transfer to BYU Hawaii or Wyoming. Or just skip a year of school and move to somewhere and get a job. Or leave the country for a few months (which I really really want to do, and might follow in Livi's footsteps. We'll see.) You know... just restlessness. I have a great life. I'm not trying to find a way to run away. Just sometimes there needs to be some kind of big change or something! I don't know.
And then there's like a little bit of identity crisis! Some of you might be surprised, I'm kind of shy, especially when I'm out of comfort zone: my own home/apartment, my family/roommates. But when I'm in my comfort zone I'm crazy, and weird and silly and embarrassing, but I don't get embarrassed in my comfort zone. But then I go out of my comfort zone, and I kind of get a little reclusive or kind of hide behind my roommates. I struggle to get the courage to meet people. And then I have an identity crisis. Am I outgoing and silly, or am I shy? I just don't know. I once read a post about introverted extraverts and that is me. And it's a conflict. It really is. It's hard to figure out if I'm shy or silly; or if I'm embarrassed or don't care. It's just a struggle to know, ya know?!
So folks, that's some truths into my life. My life is great and I love it! But sometimes I am confused with myself and where I'm headed and when, and I struggle to stay motivated about some things and that's the fact about life. It's not bad, it's just normal. And I'm real.
Mid-terms... Remember when I posted about the realities of college and how I really don't like grades. Well, I really don't like grades. This week has been crazy! I had a paper and a project due and 4 tests. The craziest day was Wednesday. I had my Anatomy Lab test, my Personal Finance Test, and my Anatomy Lecture Test. My lab test was first and I seriously have spent more time studying for that class than any other class in my whole life combined! I was just needin' a little break before I went in and took the test, so I went on youtube and watched my favorite pep-talk from Remember the Titans. And it's not about anatomy or test taking, but I totally felt like it was this time.
It's an inspiring speech really. The part that got my ready for my test was when he said, "if we don't come together, we too will be destroyed.... I don't care if you don't like each other, but you will respect each other. And maybe, maybe we'll learn to play this game like men." So, I thought to myself, "I don't really love taking tests, but I respect anatomy and this test. And if anatomy and I don't come together, I'm going to get destroyed! So, today I'm gonna get it together with anatomy, and take this test like a woman." And then I was pumped! Okay, that's an exaggeration, but I was more ready for the test. I don't know how I did on the test, but I think I did alright.
Then I had my finance test... I should have re-watched the speech. It didn't go so well. (I deserved that though; I didn't study very hard) Haha. But then I had my other Anatomy mid-term and I remembered the speech. More importantly though, I went in with a constant prayer in my heart. I prayed for help to remember what I had studied, because I studied more for this class than any other class in my life. So, I was prayin' hard and answers kept coming to my mind. I would remember reading and studying the stuff that the question was asking about, but I didn't know between two answers, and then Heavenly Father, knowing that this was important to me, would send me a thought, or help me remember something that me and Mary had made up. And when that would happen, I just said thank-you. Sometimes too, I would get to a question that I knew I hadn't studied for and I would wait a second for an answer... I wouldn't get one. So, I learned that my Heavenly Father knows me and knows what is important to me and knows what I need help with. But, he knows what work I did and he's not going to help me remember things that I didn't take the time to study. He's not going to give me answers that I don't deserve. He's loving and fair and expects me to do my part. Anyways, I got out of the test and went and looked at my score and just said, Thank you!
I know that Heavenly Father hears my pleas and my prayers for help and confidence and calmness. And I know that if I want to do well, I have to do my part. I love this quote by President Hinckley:
So, all you other college students and people that are working every day to be better and succeed at something, pray for help, but do your part. You'll be blessed.
